Thoughts Thoughts

My Birthday

Today is my birthday. I turned 48 today. I’m still trying to figure out how the heck that happened. How did I get to be so old? Why do I still have such young children? How do I have one child about to turn 21?

Just to keep the record straight that photo above was not taken of me recently. It was probably taken about 5 years ago, so add five years of life to that and you get something more like this.

I’ve never been one to get hung up on age. I don’t plan on ever having a facelift or botox injections. I embrace every wrinkle as well-deserved. However, I must add that the magnifying mirror that I asked for as a christmas gift is slightly horrifying if you look at anything other than your eyebrows for tweezing. The age spots and wrinkles are significantly magnified and could lead to a heart attack if looked at in the wrong frame of mind.

The only  birthday I ever remembering suffering any anxiety on was my 23rd birthday. I remember crying because I wasn’t married yet and didn’t have children. I couldn’t believe how old I was. I still laugh about that in hindsight.

It’s been a good birthday so far. My husband got up with the kids so I could sleep late. I blocked my whole calendar out so I could work on my website. My daughter called from college bright and early. I’ve gotten lots of calls and emails from friends and family. A beautiful flower arrangement sent to me by my sister.  A lovely potted primrose plant delivered along with an espresso by my friend Susan. Gifts to open from my friend Lisa. Even a rare call from my mother.

Tonight I will eat the birthday cake my sweet daughter made on Saturday night before driving back to college in Kentucky at the crack of dawn on Sunday. We will eat take-out of some sort and then I will take my son to the Woodworker’s Store in Norwalk and take a “making a pen on a lathe” course that we signed him up for as a christmas gift.

However, having a birthday also reminds me of the more important birthday in my life now. Every October 15th for the past 7 years I have been able to celebrate my sobriety birthday. So this morning as I was reflecting on that I took my 7-year sobriety coin out of its dish in the bathroom and put in in my pocket for the day. Then I got down on my knees and thanked God for another day sober; for the new life that I have because of that decision I made over 7 years ago.

My ‘real’ birthday is a date that I can’t change. Whether I want it or not, every January 11th I’ll turn another year older. However, my ‘sober birthday’ is a day that I can change any time I choose to forget the fact that and I cannot safely drink.

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